Yes, if you initially believed that Eric was romantically-conflicted, what with being in love with his best friend's widow, wait until you hear the tale of fellow marine Eddie Cash. He's only gone and fallen in love with the girl who's carrying his baby. Holy cripes, Tori Carrington, how are you going to contrive a happy ending for this couple, especially in the unusually short space of time your novella structure allows? In the second part of A Few Good Men, Eddie Cash has given up being a soldier in the Middle East, astutely fearing for his own safety in that war-torn region. There are other matters that call for his presence back home in whichever state this story takes place in. Six months previously, whilst on a sojourn, Eddie met Megan, they had a short fling and this naturally ended with Megan pregnant and Eddie shipped off to fighting battles. Now, Eddie has a new duty and one he is determined to master, just like he had previously mastered carpentry, mechanics, being a marine, state-sponsored-killing, kissing, chivalry and love-making. The one thing Eddie seems incapable of, however, is not being an idiot, and so is unable to make Megan fall in love with him, despite her carrying his child and being in love with him. Megan works as a waitress, saving up the money she and her unconvincing mother need to care for the baby, even though Eddie sends cheques every month.
In chapter one, we meet Eddie, and he sounds rather handsome, tall and decent. Yet, as he arrives at the restaurant Megan gives him a rather curt brush-off. Persevering, Eddie convinces her to allow him to drive her home at which point Megan hungrily kisses him. Must be those cursed mood-swings making her act like a poorly-devised character. By the end of chapter two we're halfway through the first of two sex scenes. Well, of course, they're perfect for each other and in love, what's to stop them? Then Eddie buys her a car, builds her a house and pours her a copious number of cups of chamomile tea. But, Megan wonders, are these acts of kindness undertaken because Eddie wants to care for the baby, or does he secretly harbor feelings for the girl he impregnated, sleeps with and calls beautiful? Gosh darn it, Megan, you're right. He's a closed book written in a foreign language with invisible ink. Whatever you do, don't ask him, just ignore him and refuse to talk to him until he goes away. There's a smart girl.
Eventually, a long time after the reader has lost patience, Megan invites Eddie over for lunch, where he apologises for all the mixed messages he had been sending. He goes on to tell her he loves her. With Megan still unsure if he genuinely loves her, Eddie proposes marriage. Still unsure, Megan asks why they aren't living together if that's what he had wanted all along. Sensing the end most be close, the reader skips over the last two pages and reaches the last line, assuming everything worked out, because it always works out in Harlequin books. Thus, thank the Lord they somehow solved that one. There was a deep fear the baby might grow up without a father, but that was quickly replaced with a different fear for the baby, because Eddie is its father and Megan is its mother. The thrifty use of words in these Revealing Briefs is a major bonus, but Eddie and Megan's story was so straight-forward in its simplicity the lack of conflict appeared as sardonic mockery of the structure. After all, there wasn't much for these two characters to overcome, other than a rigid unwillingness to allow nature to take its course. With such little going on, in fact, it is safe to say we are done with the perceptive analysis.
Shall we move onto the over-arching narrative arcs hinted at by Tori Carrington, such as the bizarre conversations about prophylactics. You read that right, gentle reader. This is happening. In Eric's story, the first sex scene between the prospective lovers is broken by the following exchange as he, to use the author's terminology, 'sheaths himself':
'I'm... I'm on the pill.'
'My dad always told me that you should protect a lady.'
Well, this sounds perfectly normal. Given the choice a man will always insist on wearing a condom whilst making sure he throws in a casual reference to his father. Eric is only being a gallant gentleman, and subtlety implying that Sara is a slut. Therefore the second sex scene becomes all the more eye-opening:
'Whoa. Hold on a second while I get a rubber.'
'Can't... wait...'
And so, despite Eric's desire to 'protect her' this bout of hard length entering heavenly warmth takes place without the proper protection, and having done so, we find that nothing bad happens, or so we assume, because shortly thereafter the story ends and we won't pick up with these two until the very end of the novel, when all the marines will be brought back together to fight Brian Justice's wrongful court-martial.
Returning to Eddie and Megan, we are treated to an eerily similar discussion as Megan acts surprised when she sees Eddie, to use the author's phrase, 'put on a condom':
'In case you hadn't noticed, I'm already pregnant.'
'That's not why I'm wearing it. I want to protect you and our baby.'
Speaking as an innocent weblog who has learned about sex from reading Mills & Boon novels, this plot point raises serious questions about our heroes' sexual history. Despite their sterling reputations as romantic leads it appears Eddie and Eric might be hiding a sexually-transmitted disease. There seems to be no other explanation and the Internet Doctor agrees. Of course, this theory is under-mined by the second sex scene in both stories, both of which are carried out without a sense of control. But still, faced with the daunting task of two further stories in the quadrilogy, any dispirited reader should be willing to read on in the hope that a severe case of syphilis, gonorrhoea, chlamydia or other diseases we don't know how to spell may await our worthy heroines. Fingers crossed.
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