“What kind of woman was turned on by a naked stranger in the middle of the night?”

One of the dangers of reading romance fiction is the unrealistic expectations it puts on real life living. To treat the characters of One Night with the Rebel Billionaire as figures of escapist fantasy is fair enough, but the story becomes empty spectacle, fairytale scenarios masquerading as dramatically heightened soap operas. Mills & Boon picks at the facade with the introduction of emotional neuroses. This is a worthwhile endeavour, as flaws are endearing and the reader must find the characters loveable enough to follow. Their physical perfection is problematic in itself, but people don't want to read about ugly people anymore than they want to see them on the street. Nevertheless, a little humanising can go a long way. Forgetting our feelings on humans for a moment, these sexual predators and stunning virgins can only suffice on purely superficial terms. For deep-rooted bonding, the kinds of life-changing connections the books are supposedly indebted to uncovering, perfection just does not cut it. The Mills & Boon writer must create a hero the female readers will fall in lust with and then later, after pages of enigmatic eyelash-fluttering and brooding looks, allow that lust to become love, unconditional and forgiving, a soul-baring devotion.

So, how does an author, inexperienced in the ways of desirable men, create such a Lothario, a man full of passion, intensity, sexual prowess, knowledge and misogyny, without turning him into the jerk he sounds like? Well, fortunately Mills & Boon themselves are here to help and they realise that, “it’s not always easy to create an Alpha hero,” because, “We live in an age where equality is (quite rightly) the aim and male strength can be seen as oppressive.” You're gosh darn right, helpful little lady, and thank you for pointing out that equality is the aim, because it's easy to lose track of human progress. So how do we create an Alpha Hero without making him seem like an oppressive force and you know, rapey? As it happens, it is merely a matter of modernising unrealistically. Modern cultural male heroes are now peacemakers, environmentalists and family men. Apparently. Admittedly, a family man sounds like a stretch for romantic lead, but the first two are acceptable. Men must be strong, but their strength should be productive.

They should also be gorgeous, but should never be seen working on their beauty, such as modern types who moisturise and wash. They should be able to wake up in the morning and throw on a T-shirt and be as minty-fresh and equally irresistible as they would be dressed for seduction. According to Mills & Boon our Alpha Male must satisfy two narrative requirements. He must “take control” and he must “drive the story”. Now let's ignore the first of these for a moment, because it's vague enough to be rendered meaningless. The latter, however, is worth a mention. If we assume that our female lead is our protagonist, and the story's emotional centre, then she must drive the story. Her passiveness, while sexy, is not worthy of a heroine. The man takes control and drives the plot? That's sexist, Mills & Boon, and to think, seconds ago you were using brackets to prove how progressive you are.

Further tips include:

“Recognise that he is the ultimate nurturer and build his character around this trait. He acts for the welfare of others and he is the one who recognises the heroine’s true goodness and worth.

Build a list of his strengths and reveal them as his character develops in your story.

Show his passion for his work, his life and in the bedroom!

Know his flaws and have the heroine, and the storyline, challenge them – so that he has to contemplate changing himself and his behaviour. Though changing will always remain his choice!

Be clear about the heroine’s emotional and sexual needs. It is through her journey of fulfilment via the hero that the reader gains insight into his character.

Use writing technique to create a more complex rendering of his character, such as male point of view, and semi-climax when crisis occurs as a result of the hero’s flaws.

Be sure that by the last chapter our hero has experienced his own emotional journey and he’s ready to settle down to a happy ending.”

There you go, a neat list. Recognise, Build, Show, Know, Be Clear, Use Writing Technique and Be Sure. Seven points to follow and you have your male lead. Most importantly there's this, “An Alpha male should still be vulnerable – even if he’s too proud to admit it! We need to see that underneath the arrogance, charm or guarded heart, he’s capable of great emotional depth.” Agreed. Bewildered Heart also believes the most vital element to fleshing out a Hero is making him capable of emotion. Before you, dear reader, note with incredulity that these writing tips are useless, please bear in mind they're only the initial prompts. We take these non-committal and occasionally hilarious tips and use them to mould the man we already have in our hearts. Naturally, as this is a romance story we want a man with the ability to love, who sees the heroine for who she really is. After all, having him not fall in love with a false impression of her would be detrimental to our book. Hah! Only kidding, Mills & Boon, your helpful hints are idiotic.

Later on, as we properly prepare to create our Alpha Male we will build a list of his strengths, but for now let's mention the few traits clearly fundamental. Strength, Nurturing, Kindness, Perception, Passion, Talent, Bedroom Skills, Charm, Confidence, Hair. We'll add more as we go along. As we construct our itinerary of strengths, we will begin work on his flaws, remembering that misogyny and commitment-phobia aren't flaws, they're not even words. These issues will help humanise him for both the reader and the heroine, allowing us, the author, to colour him with a personality. Now, our hero only exists through the eyes of the heroine, and he is defined by what he represents to her. At first he usually represents an irritation, an arrogant, but devastatingly handsome, stranger who stands in her way, because he wants to build a hotel on the seal sanctuary she works to save. 'Damn the seals,' he says, his thick eyelashes fluttering in the gentle breeze. 'Ugh, what an obstinate jerk,' she thinks, 'If only I didn't badly yearn to birth him numerous children!' So the heroine comes first and the hero is created based on the fulfilment of her journey to over-come whatever character flaws she has. And thus they become the perfect fit, finally allowing us to use the word perfect without it feeling deeply inappropriate. For the sake of time it is best to gloss over the 'Use Writing Technique' tip, and yet it is the most fascinating on the list. Anyone who has read plenty of romance fiction will know that semi-climaxes just do not occur. These characters just aren't almost kinda people.