As any Bewildered Heart knows finding material to write about on your world wide weblog is half the battle of writing a weblog, and so a topical news item is indeed a rare blessing, even when said news item is silly and hardly requires commenting on. This month followers of Mills & Boon had two such stories to roll their eyes at, and the journalistic presses hurtled into overdrive, so desperate for incidents as we have been recently. Firstly, and if we are unnecessarily analytical also lastly until tomorrow, an article appeared on ksl.com, a website for members of the Church of Latter-Day Saints, entitled Romance Novels Can be as Addictive as Pornography, written by Kimberly Sayer-Giles. Two immediate thoughts strike at this headline. Mormons are against pornography and romance novels aren't pornography?
Don't fret though, cagey reader, Sayer-Giles has the evidence to back up her claims, so long as we agree beforehand to misuse the word evidence. 'Romance novels are a booming business. Analysts believe book sales are increasing because romance novels provide a perfect escape during tough times. Revenue topped $1.36 billion last year, while religious, self-help and inspirational books combined sold only $770 million. Romance novels accounted for 55 percent of all the popular mass-market fiction sold.' In your face, religion and inspiration. How to respond to such overwhelming success? Biblical erotic fan-fiction? That probably does already lurk in the bowels of the internet, but we should continue to feign ignorance in case the issue ever comes up in casual conversation. However, to lead us seamlessly back to the matter at hand, romantic fiction is very popular and rather lucrative, a statistical fact that might have led someone to write about romantic fiction online, under the delusional belief their criticism and essays would bring them acclaim and any readers.
According to a best-selling author named Shaunti Feldhahn, 'Some marriage therapists caution that women can become as dangerously unbalanced by these books’ entrancing but distorted messages as men can be by the distorted messages of pornography.' This dangerously unbalanced opinion has as many holes as the plot to a romance book, or indeed, the other thing. When Feldhahn's statement is taken out of context, by either Sayer-Giles or us, there are infuriating questions left unanswered, such as what are the messages of pornography, how many is some and who are these marriage therapists? Furthermore, the distorted messages of Mills & Boon are a necessity of the genre. The lack of realism, the glamorous veneer and the contrived scenarios that culminate in earth-shattering sex are fundamental appeals. They are, as Harlequin might retort via press statement, escapist fantasy, and you cannot have escapist fantasy without escapism and fantasy. That's solid psychological deduction right there, Shaunti Feldhahn.
Speaking of professional psychologists, Dr. Juli Slattery, author of Finding a Hero in Your Husband: Surrendering the Way God Intended, suggests that there are direct parallels between men's obsessive desire to consume visual porn and women's obsessive desire to consume emotional porn, and as with any addiction, an addiction to romance books is potentially troublesome. 'For many women, these novels really do promote dissatisfaction with their real relationships,' writes Slattery. The cure? Self-help books, such as Finding a Hero in Your Husband, an obsession with a deity, such as Jesus Christ, and the distorted messages of Joseph Smith. We are getting ahead of ourselves, however. First we must admit we have a problem, only then can we hope it goes away on its own.
'Women may find their standard for intimacy begins to change over time because may not be able to get as satisfied with their partners as they can reading a book.' Ignoring the problematic grammar within that sentence, Sayers-Giles possibly makes a logical argument, but this has no association to the contents of those books. Presumably as each day draws to a close there are women who prefer reading the anecdotes of a Mills & Boon to hearing about the day of their partner. While this is an enormous insult to the story-telling abilities of husbands everywhere there remains no proof that the genre negatively affects expectations in spouses, international tycoons or local sheikh surgeons. Readers understand their real-life lovers cannot compare to the heroes and heroines swooning within the pages of their favoured literature because they have not lost their minds. Now come on, where is a pornography-addiction counsellor when you need one to say something utterly preposterous and devoid of meaning. 'Pornography addiction counsellor Vickie Burress said reading romance novels or viewing pornography may eventually lead to an affair for some women. "Women involved in pornography have a hard time keeping their family together,” she said.'
Still, if we were to humour Kimberly Sayer-Giles and admit we have a problem with reality, expecting to see gorgeous billionaires around every corner and finding normal people's eyelashes thin and deeply upsetting, what must we do to heal our unhealthy attitudes towards feelings and make good with the beautifully-coiffed facial hair of the Lord? Perhaps there is a neat summation of these steps that we can copy onto a post-it-note and stick on our bathroom mirror, stitch onto a throw-pillow or print onto a bookmark:
'Break the Addiction
Commit to stop reading romance books
Commit to working on your relationship, if you're in one
Find a different hobby, or find a new genre of books to enjoy
Invest in your real life, not fictional characters'
Thanks, Church of Latter-Day Saints. All this time we've been trying to break our addiction by reading romance books, sabotaging our relationships, not having other hobbies and investing all our money in the fictional corporations of Mills & Boon novels. Admittedly, it is difficult taking advice from the Church of Latter-Day Saints on the subject of delusional and harmful devotions to fiction, but Sayers-Giles' overall point has its merits and the potential threat Mills & Boon poses should not be discounted with cheap jokes about religion. Those who take romantic literature seriously, as either fans or critics, are a perturbed bunch and need our support and occasional displays of concern. It is possible, gentle reader, that you are only visiting Bewildered Heart because your wife has a detrimental passion towards romance fiction or pornography, and so, if this is the case, allow us to redirect you to the helpful steps above. Have you tried replacing the offending material with exercise, psychiatry or a different medium of entertainment, such as Hollywood romcoms starring Kate Hudson? No one becomes addicted to films starring Kate Hudson.
Torstar and its many illegitimate publishers will distance themselves from the damaging effects of their product because they are merely seizing on love's enduring popularity and sating a love-hungry market. Pornography, as the visual manifestation of physical connection, does similarly. Only an individual without a sound grip on their sanity will be misled by the genre's preoccupation with unrealistic portrayals of everything, and this contention simply continues from the hysteria over violence in movies and computer games. Love is the shameful habit, not the artistic renditions of an intangible emotion. The Sayer-Giles article, and the general antipathy aimed at romance fiction, and even pornography, finds its fury from a blinkered understanding of human biology and a sheltered, puritanical attitude toward sexuality. The enemy here is not an easy target as there is no enemy to agonize over. A broader comprehension of the overall theme is vital to dealing with this problem that may or may not exist.
Everyone wants to read books, watch films and television shows and listen to music about this euphoric, yet fleeting, experience. We have evolved to placing love next to money as a cornerstone of personal contentment. However, the only setback with romance novels is their quality, not their legacy. If you wish to hold humanity to account for writing, publishing and buying this codswallop, descending our planet into tough times so we need it to serve as a distraction, and then finding fault with those who have idealised notions of romance and a better life then Bewildered Heart is right behind you, but please, shall we set the world to rights another day? We can easily drag this predicament across four or five weblog updates easily, saving us from having to read another book.
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