“Down boy, he thought, and comforted himself with Chocolate Sin”

For all authors aiming to conquer the romance fiction industry there is one name each would aspire to eclipse in terms of fame and success, and recently Bewildered Heart had its first, and hopefully last, flirtation with the publishing juggernaut named Nora Roberts. The MacGregor Grooms has been a blessed book for this weblog, with its three novellas guaranteeing months of subject matter to see us through the summer. Now the inevitable end has come, but many questions and concerns remain. Before putting this book back where it belongs, in the recycling bin behind the library, there is time for a full and unequivocal appraisal which may in turn reach any number of conclusions as to why The MacGregor’s are so beloved, why Nora Roberts is so adored and whether D.C. lost his manhood after all that frosty sex?

According to self-proclaimed Nora Roberts Examiner Carol Thomas at eleven books The MacGregor franchise is, 'Both the most extensive series she published for Silhouette and the most popular.' The initial story, Playing The Odds, concerned Daniel's attempt at fixing up his only daughter Serena with eligible gambler Justin Blade. From there things blossomed, somehow, into a sprawling family tree of endless repetition of a theme. The reasons for this, as Roberts would later explain to All About Romance, were purely down to money and a lack of imagination. 'When I started Playing The Odds, it was planned as one book. Somewhere during the writing of it, I decided to write stories involving each of Serena's brothers... So that meant three books. Then I had an idea to connect Shelby's brother, so that was four. And I fell for Daniel. Big time. My editor had received so many letters on him, she asked me if I would be willing to write his and Anna's story. She got a big yes! Later, when I was asked to write an historical, doing the MacGregors and the '45 in Scotland seemed like a natural. And again when I wrote a novella, for Harlequin Historicals, the MacGregors popped into my head.'

Once an author begins to churn out manuscript after manuscript of impossibly beautiful, talented people falling in love despite the sins of their parents the only challenge stems from having to constantly think up different names for the characters. However, there is more to The MacGregor's appeal than the writer's laziness, as Roberts' anecdote proves. The family grew as a result of reader demand as much as contractual obligations. 1987's For Now, Forever discloses the background of the monumental meeting of egos that was the courtship of Daniel and Anna. The MacGregor recounts the tale as he recovers from a car accident, possibly the result of his drinking problem. While Daniel receives much devotion from fans and family members alike, Anna Whitfield took on a prominent role in the novel as the feisty feminist who refused to be romanced, until she arbitrarily changed her mind and got married. For causes not explained with words or evidence Wylene Rholetter has described Anna as, 'Arguably the most revolutionary heroine among Roberts's category romances, a feminist in an age before the word was coined.' This would be glowing praise, had Roberts ever been renowned for her revolutionary heroines or had the book also been written in an age before feminism.

Due to the shameful superficiality, the tedious characterisation, the banal dialogue and insipid descriptions of womanly dithering contained within The MacGregor Grooms any explanations of the enduring prosperity of the series must be learned from elsewhere. After all, there is little to discern this Nora Roberts novel from any of her hundreds of others, or the thousands of others published by an endless list of similar best-selling authors. For many the prospect of inner-connected stories is appealing. Mills & Boon has shown a propensity for rolling, casually-linked novels, often involving the siblings of what are presumably Catholic parents. Therefore The MacGregor collection is hardly unique, but perhaps where Roberts has deviated from the standard scenario is in the scale in which her family inhabit the world. This is one spectacular dynasty, a Kennedy-like clan without the assassinations, open marriages and despicable patriarch. Alan MacGregor becomes U.S. President, and elsewhere there are doctors, artists, architects, entrepreneurs, lawyers and the women they wed. Even the assortment of gamblers make good. Many marry into equally wealthy families and their fictional status within an idealised world blossoms unrealistically without so much as a raised eyebrow from the reader.

There are few romance novels more fantastical than The MacGregor's unless you delve into the murky world of Paranormal, and although the pastoral locations and perfect people who populate the books have a tendency to trip onto the wrong side of parody there is plenty to recommend the extremities of Roberts' work. Mills & Boon followers choose fantasy over earthy realism and the best authors shovel the sappy romance on thick. If the heroes are gorgeous, charming, decent, successful and rich then why not have them as gorgeous, charming, decent, successful and rich as possible? This is as formulaic and stereotypical as romance fiction gets, but it would be almost impossible to exaggerate these characters and scenarios any further without losing the audience. This is the fine line Roberts must tread, but her readers seem willing and able to forgive the worst indulgences because they are complicit in enjoying the commitment to excess. As repeatedly noted during the reviewing process Roberts exacerbates her errors with her chosen format. The three revealing briefs only serve to underline the glaring lack of variety and insight. DC, Duncan and Ian are as tedious and forgettable as their names. The heroines are given depth and neuroses largely because Roberts has written The MacGregor family without physical or emotional flaws. Therefore each glorious specimen of masculinity cures a twenty-something woman of whatever is bothering her through handsomeness, money and genitals. Layna did not believe in love because her parents lived a sham marriage, but then she fell in love because DC is dreamy and fear was defeated. Cat wanted everything and got it because Duncan already had everything and was willing to share in exchange for sex. Finally Naomi was a virgin and an idiot, but Ian had a patient penis and happened to be an idiot too.

Just as important as all the marriages was the birth of Fiona Joy, Julia's second child. With this lengthy diversion being of no narrative necessity, it can be assumed that the MacGregor legacy is of equal significance to the romance for the fans of the series. Although Roberts concluded the franchise with the follow-up to The MacGregor Grooms, there was no particular need not to continue, despite the fact that Daniel Duncan cannot be immortal and what would the books become without the irascible patriarch drunkenly pulling the strings? Roberts plays upon soap opera machinations with these multi-generational novels as wealth accumulates, couples tie the knot, babies are born and attractive people do exciting things in expensive locations, but for the sake of wistful love she does away with the fighting, tension and obstacles that might heighten the drama of an inconsequential flirtation into a compelling saga. Yet such alternations could have been simply accomplished and therefore the dull, pleasant nothingness of The MacGregor Grooms is not only intentional, but key to the unchallenging charm. If sales had been disappointing, or even average, there would be little else to comment on. Thus for the sake of putting this sorry episode behind us, let us perpetuate the delusion that sales were disappointing.