The second part of The MacGregor Grooms concerns the
playboy and professional boat owner Duncan Blade, son of Serena MacGregor and
Justin Blade, and brother of Amelia, Gwendolyn and, who can forget, 'Mac'
MacGregor. For Daniel Duncan, their alcoholic loon of a grandfather, Duncan is his
spiritual successor, because they share a love of cigars, drinking and
gambling. However, The MacGregor has come to the conclusion he comes to with
everyone eventually, and so it is about time Duncan settled down and married
someone who also isn't interested in marriage and settling down, because
without a family the passing of time is another variation of loneliness, as
that great philosopher Nora Roberts once wrote. Therefore off we go to the
Mississippi and the classic riverboat the Comanche Princess, a suspiciously successful riverboat so named
because Duncan is of Native American blood and has a thing for princesses,
possibly. It matters not, as they set sail from St.
Louis all the way to New
Orleans, with stops at Memphis and Natchez, both
locations which may well exist.
With the vessel as loaded as the dice, Duncan awaits
one crew-member, the glamorous lounge singer Catherine Farrell. Naturally
Catherine (Cat to her friends. Hi, Cat!) is late, over a day late, in fact, and
Duncan's
patience has run as dry as the ginger ale. Then, to further complicate matters,
a teenager in a disgusting baseball cap tries to stow aboard. Duncan won't
stand for such behaviour, but is struck by this under-age girl's sexy body and
emerald green eyes. Uh oh, Duncan, you're
not in Mississippi yet. He
need not worry, because this woman is no child, but in fact Cat Farrell, the of
age glamorous lounge singer with a sexy body it is socially acceptable to
slobber over. He ushers her onto his potentially metaphorical boat, and Cat
doesn't have to be a yachtsman, slush or amateur architect to be impressed by
the traditional décor, modern casino and free food. She would also have to be
blind or a lesbian not to be impressed by the dashing, flirtatious Duncan
Blade, with his head of hair, cheekbones and sexual confidence. Fortunately for
Cat she is neither blind nor a lesbian, and as previously alluded to she is a
lounge singer with no interest in sailing or booze. Soon the intense chemistry
has hero, heroine and author unable to describe anything in their interior
monologues without referring to body parts. Roberts uses the opportunity to
display her virtuoso skills at lively dialogue as Duncan says,
'Sometimes you have to go down before you go up.' Oh boy, isn't it hot in here?
If Duncan was
aroused when walking in to Cat's dressing room and finding her naked, that was
no match to hearing her sing on stage in a single spotlight practically naked.
He is smitten, in a way only red-blooded, extroverted billionaires can be
smitten, and invites her to his office for some bottled water, biographical
information and sex. They begin with bottled water and things move swiftly from
there. Between passionate kisses Duncan boldly
propositions her to let herself into his cabin after that evening's performance
for additional connection. Having equated him to the intentional act of killing
oneself Cat hurries to the door. Their chemistry is bubbling over too quickly, as only moments
earlier she had ruled out sleeping with her boss and now she is about to sleep
with her boss in exchange for career help. Still, if she didn't want to go to
his cabin that evening then kissing him, being attracted to him and falling in love
with him were obvious miscalculations for that so often flawless Southern
logic. She returns below deck to indulge her healthy appetite for gratis meals,
leaving Duncan to temper
his arousal in ways more becoming of a gentleman. He is happy, therefore, to
hear from his grandfather, but Duncan instantly smells a rat in The MacGregor's
casual enquiry of Catherine Mary Farrell. To throw a proverbial gremlin into
the matchmaking system Duncan invents
an engagement between Cat and her piano player and hey presto!, the game is
afoot.
Nevertheless, for all of Daniel Duncan's meddling and
Duncan Junior's canny recognition of being played Nora Roberts has created
little conflict for her hero and heroine to overcome. The end of third chapter
twist is deceitful, a cynical ploy to get The MacGregor and The MacGregor's
wife on the boat to see for themselves the predictable conclusion to events as Duncan takes Cat
in full view of the poop deck. Part Two of The MacGregor Grooms is as tame and
inconsequential as Part One, with little to differentiate the archetypal
players of both stories. DC and Duncan share more than a first initial, and
represent the standard alpha male readers readily devour. Duncan enjoys the
high life and numerous vices, but he has fashioned a successful life for
himself which affords him endless opportunities to make money whilst indulging
his numerous vices. One such hobby is beautiful, ravishing women and Cat fits
the bill perfectly. Not only is she attractive, but she is available and nearby,
two of the necessary qualities men look for when they aren't fleshed out enough
to have a type.
Without either having discernible personalities it is easy
to assume Duncan and Cat
have much in common. Perhaps they do, but what remains most ideal about the
heroine is that marrying her will not force the hero into altering his
lifestyle. DC required a little domesticity and a haircut, thus Layna enjoyed
tidying and would have had scissors somewhere, but Duncan has no
charming characteristics he will need to sacrifice to become an honest man.
Catherine Farrell, meanwhile, is largely at odds with the straight-laced
businesswoman Layna, as much as Layna was with DC. Cat and Duncan are
like-minded hedonists, eager to copulate with no strings attached. While DC had
to wear down Layna's prim exterior for the nymphomaniac beneath, Cat has a
handful of moral qualms about romantic involvement with her employer and a chip
on her shoulder borne from her squalid upbringing on the mean streets of Chicago. These,
however, are minor hindrances and immediately over-looked in the handsome face of
swagger and cash inducements.
The novella format offers
Roberts a chance to cut through the usual conflicts and contrivances that scupper
fifty-thousand-word Harlequin romances and concentrate instead on the
highlights of a couple falling in love against their better judgement. The
author attempts to compensate for a lack of drama, tension and narrative nuance
with a rush to physical contact, sob story and kiss, hoping the reader will
appreciate punchy prose and characters who know what they want and aren't
interested in waiting. Nevertheless, if Roberts was concerned with realism Duncan's tale would be finished already and The MacGregor
would be staving off the spectre of death by drunkenly pawing over his family
tree for loose limbs. Instead he is needlessly headed for the Mississippi River for his cameo appearance. When he and Anna arrive
they will find another grandchild in love and refusing to admit it, but they
have seen this all before and emotional denial has no defence against a
stubborn pensioner with whiskey on his breath and mischief in his mind. This
time, Roberts will argue, The MacGregor maybe powerless, because it is not Duncan
who needs manipulating, but Catherine, and how do you convince a woman in love
that she is in love with the man she is in love with? Nora has only six
chapters remaining and as the third closes to the sound of the hero's smug
laughter Roberts has exhausted a credible amount of reticence. What to write
for sixty pages? There simply aren't enough nautical phrases in the offing to tide
us over.
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